1 00:00:23,759 --> 00:00:24,759 Bye. 2 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,100 Goodbye. 3 00:00:28,180 --> 00:00:33,020 Ah, goodbye, Mr. Lubitsch. I do hope your group enjoyed your stay at 4 00:00:33,020 --> 00:00:36,060 Manor. Yeah, great. Well, very quaint. 5 00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:38,100 Is the coach outside? 6 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:44,680 The hall porter is indisposed, so the waiter and barman will take the cases 7 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:45,680 to the coach. 8 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,080 Mr. Huntress, are you free? 9 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,600 I'm free. 10 00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:51,810 Do you have the cases out, coach? 11 00:00:52,050 --> 00:00:53,950 I'm right in the middle of counting my gherkins. 12 00:00:55,030 --> 00:00:56,030 There's one missing. 13 00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:58,930 Pick up. Pick up. 14 00:00:59,210 --> 00:01:00,169 Are you free? 15 00:01:00,170 --> 00:01:02,650 The room service finished three minutes ago, sir. 16 00:01:02,850 --> 00:01:04,349 Good. Help Humphreys with the cases. 17 00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:05,730 Certainly, sir. 18 00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:09,950 When I return, I'd like a few words with you about the conditions of my 19 00:01:09,950 --> 00:01:10,950 employment. 20 00:01:20,590 --> 00:01:23,410 Well, goodbye and good luck at Gatwick. 21 00:01:25,970 --> 00:01:26,970 Have they gone? 22 00:01:27,210 --> 00:01:29,430 Yes, just getting on the coach for Gatwick. 23 00:01:29,650 --> 00:01:35,110 What a tingey lot. All I got was their loose change and a couple of Greek 24 00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:38,070 drachmas. What did you get, Miss Roberts? 25 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:43,430 Well, the bald -headed one, he gave me 50 quid. Miss Roberts! 26 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:45,810 What did you do to get that? 27 00:01:47,110 --> 00:01:50,290 Just bit me lip to stop myself telling him it wasn't a fiver. 28 00:01:52,850 --> 00:01:55,970 Now, remember, all tips are to be shared equally. 29 00:01:56,310 --> 00:01:59,630 What did you get, Mr. Humphries? Fifty pence and a slight hernia. 30 00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:05,090 The next time you do that to me, I shall do that to you. 31 00:02:06,230 --> 00:02:09,350 I left my cleaning in a case at the bottom of the stairs. Where's it gone? 32 00:02:09,669 --> 00:02:10,669 Gatwick and Disneyland. 33 00:02:12,150 --> 00:02:13,150 Oh, God. 34 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,560 Stop! 35 00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:18,740 Let's go and see if Nathan's got the kettle on. What a good idea. 36 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:22,720 Here. 37 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,320 Get that thing, you dad. 38 00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:26,700 Thanks. 39 00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:29,800 Then I shall be going fertilize the rhubarb. 40 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:36,160 They don't make tea like they used to, you know. 41 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:40,220 You've got to suck the tea bags before you get any taste. 42 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,230 Yeah, you be a... of yourself, Dad. 43 00:02:43,770 --> 00:02:46,870 Did them Americans give you any tips when you showed them round the farm? 44 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,470 Well, I made them all climb over a five -bar gate. 45 00:02:51,850 --> 00:02:54,530 A lot of chains fell out of their pockets. 46 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,630 Oh, thank goodness that's not gone. 47 00:02:58,870 --> 00:03:00,430 Oh, I got a nice cup of tea for you. 48 00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:02,470 If you suck the tea bags. 49 00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:05,930 You get the cups out, Mr. Umphrey. Right, ma 'am. 50 00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,550 Now, what shall we have? 51 00:03:08,390 --> 00:03:09,930 Daddy bear or baby bear? 52 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:15,220 Oh, let's have the large one, Mr. Humphreys. I find that Americans give me 53 00:03:15,220 --> 00:03:16,220 a thirst. 54 00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:18,120 Well, they always used to. 55 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,720 Mind you, they gave us quite a nice little check. 56 00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:24,320 1 ,700 pounds. 57 00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:26,400 Yes, we're keeping our heads above water. 58 00:03:27,220 --> 00:03:30,140 One wonders if one really needs to employ any extra staff. 59 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:34,380 If we all muck in, we don't have to pay any wages, and there's all the more for 60 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,040 us. It's all very well for you, Mr. 61 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,140 Rumbold. I've never seen you do anything more energetic than that. 62 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,200 I do it to create the right atmosphere. 63 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,160 You haven't created it with me. 64 00:03:44,860 --> 00:03:49,280 And you don't have to unfollow the loon. And you don't have to erase the tide 65 00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,280 marks from the bar. 66 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:51,960 You want to leave, eh? 67 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,640 They remind you how much hot water you can use. 68 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,480 I've got one that goes back to 1937. 69 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,800 1949, then. 70 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:12,800 Go and fertilise the rhubarb, Dad. 71 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,520 Does he do that with a watering can? 72 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:18,380 Yeah, something like that. 73 00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:24,000 No wonder someone said the sprouts tasted of Tetley. 74 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:29,620 What's that? 75 00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:31,080 It sounds like a girl's voice. 76 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,200 It's either clothes pegs or a tube of glue. 77 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,600 Oh, it's Miss Littlewood. She was the lady magistrate when you fell foul of 78 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,960 law. Oh, don't remind me. 79 00:04:46,780 --> 00:04:48,000 Can I come in? 80 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,060 I tried the front, but the bell pull came away in my hand. 81 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,260 Do come in, Miss Littlewood. 82 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,880 Oh, you remember me. 83 00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,380 I remember you. 84 00:04:58,420 --> 00:04:59,420 Come and sit down. 85 00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:13,340 I remember you from court. You gave your evidence so well. 86 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,760 And the light seemed to strike your eyes in the most startling fashion. 87 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:22,420 Really? You don't wear contact lenses, do you? 88 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,220 Not up till now, no. 89 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,840 Mind you, I'm better further away than closer to. 90 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,300 I'm the other way. 91 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:37,880 I'm in between. 92 00:05:42,220 --> 00:05:43,220 Bifocals. 93 00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,960 And to what do we owe the great pleasure of this visit? 94 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,180 It's nothing to do with the case, I hope. Oh, no, I'm here to talk about 95 00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,180 cricket. 96 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:57,340 Young Mr. Grates used to let us use the pitch on your lawn and he'd make up a 97 00:05:57,340 --> 00:06:01,380 team from Millstone Manor. I was wondering if you'd continue the 98 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,060 Oh, well, we'd love to, I'm sure. 99 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:05,340 Now, how many men can we field? 100 00:06:05,660 --> 00:06:08,060 There's Mr. Rumbold and myself and Mr. 101 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:13,000 Moulthard. And I'm sure Mr. Humphreys is not totally unacquainted with a crack 102 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,000 of willow against leather. 103 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:16,220 He's heard that for years. 104 00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,180 He's talking about cricket, Mr. 105 00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:20,560 Humphreys. Oh, I know. 106 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,560 I've often wanted to deliver a fast one from the gasworks, eh? 107 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,060 Actually, it's a mixed team, boys and girls. 108 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:29,580 Just a bit of fun. 109 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:34,960 Well, in that case, with Mrs. Slocum and Miss Browns and Lovelock and Mavis, we 110 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,280 can make up eight, provided they're willing, of course. 111 00:06:37,660 --> 00:06:39,120 I'm sure Miss Brahms is gay. 112 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,620 Well, for cricket, yes. 113 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,180 I'm not sure about Mrs. Slocum. 114 00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:50,020 I'd have you know, Miss Brahms, that when I was a land girl, we played the 115 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:54,320 and I was the opening bowler. And I'm here to tell you that my bouncers were 116 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,320 greatly respected. 117 00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:00,880 Well, I usually stand by. That means nice. 118 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:05,200 Well, Dad's got a couple of local firemen who help out when we're busy. 119 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,880 They can make up the tea. 120 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,020 Do cricketers wear make -up? 121 00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:15,380 Yes, well, it sounds as if we've got a team. Will we be playing against the 122 00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:16,380 village, great tender? 123 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:20,400 Well, they can only muster about half a dozen, so they'll be playing with tender 124 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,400 bottom. 125 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:51,940 I'm foaming at the mouth, so it's your turn now. 126 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:53,580 Right, let's turn it around then. 127 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,640 Captain Peacock, you go to the back. Mr Humphrey to the front. 128 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:58,840 There we are. Now get a good grip. 129 00:07:59,820 --> 00:08:01,940 Just what exactly are you going to do? 130 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,880 I shall start you off and guide you. 131 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,000 I thought it would be something like that. 132 00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:07,940 Come 133 00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:16,860 along, 134 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:17,879 Miss Brahms. 135 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,420 Help me to spread out the tent. 136 00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,640 Right, now then. One, two, three. 137 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,880 Heave! Far away! 138 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:30,560 Keep it up, keep it up. You're doing very well. Mr. Humphreys, you're not 139 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,059 straight. I'm trying to, believe me. 140 00:08:35,299 --> 00:08:39,900 Poor Mr. Humphreys. The veins are standing out on his forehead. 141 00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:43,380 He certainly knows how to throw himself into things, don't he? 142 00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:45,240 I hope he don't strain them. 143 00:08:45,670 --> 00:08:47,810 I don't think you'll damage anything he's going to use. 144 00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:51,330 Not much further. 145 00:08:51,770 --> 00:08:52,870 Only a few yards. 146 00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:56,250 How are you bearing up, Mr. Humphreys? I'm exhausted. 147 00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:59,830 This is the first thing I've pulled since we got here. 148 00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:02,450 You've got to spoil your fun. 149 00:09:02,770 --> 00:09:05,970 You've got over my white lines and you've made about four more creases. 150 00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,910 Oh, dear. What are we going to do about that? 151 00:09:09,390 --> 00:09:10,570 Well, you were guiding us. 152 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:14,110 I suggest you get a pot of green paint and paint them out. 153 00:09:15,099 --> 00:09:19,040 Now, what do we do next? I'm not sure we've gone about this the right way. 154 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:21,760 I thought they'd have sent a book of instructions, wouldn't you? 155 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:23,840 Oh, his dad, he'll know. 156 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:28,260 Oh, what a bloomin' mess. I'd never seen anything like it in all me life. 157 00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:34,260 You're making a right pick of that, ain't you? You're doing it all wrong. 158 00:09:34,620 --> 00:09:39,180 All together wrong. A constructive suggestion wouldn't go amiss, Mr. 159 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:41,920 Well, you see them poles? 160 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,970 Well, they're what holds it up. 161 00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:50,390 Now, they are no good on the outside. They've got to be on the inside. 162 00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:52,210 So what do we do? 163 00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:54,250 Well, it is like this. 164 00:09:54,690 --> 00:09:58,710 The spikes on the poles must go in the holes. 165 00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:00,250 What holes, Mr. 166 00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:02,390 Molden? Them holes! 167 00:10:03,490 --> 00:10:06,850 Now, I tell you what. You two hold the tent for us. 168 00:10:07,370 --> 00:10:11,230 Grab a pole, Mrs. Slocum. I'll show you where to put it. 169 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:21,760 This is just like old times, isn't it? I have no recollection of anything 170 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:27,340 occurring between us in old times, as you put it, other than a brief encounter 171 00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:28,440 in Tiverton. 172 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:30,800 Huh? I teach, I teach. 173 00:10:31,300 --> 00:10:32,760 Look, can we get on with this? 174 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:34,840 Go on, then. 175 00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:44,680 is helping Mrs. Slocum put the poles in the old. 176 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:51,820 Mr. Boulter, will you please be careful where you're putting your poles? 177 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,620 There's something showing here, so you know next time. 178 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,460 There's not going to be a next time. 179 00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:00,620 I'm getting mine in. 180 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,160 How is it for you? 181 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:03,239 Oh, no. 182 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,000 That's a long way to go yet. 183 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,900 Don't you think we ought to give them a hand? 184 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,100 They seem to be managing very well. 185 00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:13,570 But the thing slipped out. 186 00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,370 Move over. 187 00:11:15,650 --> 00:11:18,150 I'll do it. Oh, stay where you are, Mr. Motel. 188 00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:20,890 Oh, oh, I've done it. 189 00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:25,150 It's obviously more complicated than it looks. 190 00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,210 Dad hasn't done it for a long time. 191 00:11:28,790 --> 00:11:29,790 Well, 192 00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:32,730 I can't be doing that again in a hurry. 193 00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:37,230 Well, what happens now? 194 00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:41,230 Well, we've got to bang on the knobs and we need a good pull. 195 00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:43,510 Here they are. 196 00:11:44,590 --> 00:11:46,490 Now, shove them on the spikes. 197 00:11:46,910 --> 00:11:47,910 I'll take one of those. 198 00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:50,190 Don't overdo it, Mr. Rumble. 199 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:55,110 Now, we need a bit of weight on the other end of the pole. 200 00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:59,950 Now, you put your foot on that one. You may be enough. 201 00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,690 Hold it back with this one. 202 00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:05,390 The rest of you, take the ropes. 203 00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:10,890 Now, you leave all the pulling to me, Mr. Humphreys. You've done more than 204 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:11,890 fair share today. 205 00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:14,310 I should never have let you go on that roller. 206 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:17,050 You know, I was getting varicose veins in me forehead. 207 00:12:19,150 --> 00:12:20,150 You ready? 208 00:12:20,690 --> 00:12:22,890 Miss Lovelock, will you give us a start? 209 00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:30,110 How do you suggest I do that, Captain Peacock? Lift the pole a few feet and 210 00:12:30,110 --> 00:12:31,230 we'll go the rest of the way. 211 00:12:32,850 --> 00:12:36,050 I wouldn't have thought it would take eight grown people to raise one small 212 00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,050 marquee. 213 00:12:37,670 --> 00:12:38,670 Ready? 214 00:12:39,390 --> 00:12:41,150 That includes you, Mr Rumble. 215 00:12:54,099 --> 00:12:58,940 I would say, if at first you don't succeed, get somebody else to do it. 216 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,140 Oh, what are you doing? 217 00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:11,220 We're making something for the cricket team. 218 00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:15,100 What are they? Well, I've done the sandwiches and the scones. 219 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,460 I thought we'd have some gingerbread men. 220 00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:23,180 Oh, do you know, I've always wanted to make these, but my mother wouldn't let 221 00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,180 after the first time. 222 00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:27,260 She didn't like where I was putting the currants. 223 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:34,420 Well, you can have a go now, but you've got to let me give you a little kiss 224 00:13:34,420 --> 00:13:36,640 first. All right, go on, then. 225 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:48,860 You can open your eyes now. 226 00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:51,600 That was quite nice, really. 227 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:53,640 Do you want another one? No, no, no. 228 00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:57,920 I don't think you know how nice you are. 229 00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:02,300 Oh, it's not that, Mavis. It's just that, well, I think we should keep our 230 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,560 relationship as it is. 231 00:14:04,140 --> 00:14:05,560 Just sharing a bed together. 232 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,420 You're right. We don't want people to talk, do we? 233 00:14:10,620 --> 00:14:11,700 They're talking already. 234 00:14:13,660 --> 00:14:15,400 Well, maybe we should get married. 235 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,580 It's stopped me talking. 236 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:30,780 You know, Mavis, just think of us as making gingerbread men together. 237 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,880 You don't want to share that together no more? 238 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,620 Actually, no, that's working out quite well, especially in the cold weather. 239 00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:44,060 There's something I must explain. You see, there's a big difference between 240 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,120 Well, there's a big difference between me, anyway. 241 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,480 I mean, you're very young, and I'm... 242 00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:58,140 Well, I mean, let me put it this way. If my life was a train ride from London to 243 00:14:58,140 --> 00:15:00,740 Birmingham, I've just gone flat out past rugby. 244 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:03,260 I don't care. 245 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:05,780 I still want to be there when you hit the buffers. 246 00:15:09,740 --> 00:15:11,480 Now look what you've made me do. 247 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:17,020 There's so many currents on there, it looks as though he's got chicken pox. 248 00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:23,270 Water carrier for baseball players. Seven letters. 249 00:15:23,950 --> 00:15:24,950 Picture. 250 00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:26,710 Thank you. 251 00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:28,610 That's the answer I was just putting in. 252 00:15:29,530 --> 00:15:31,430 Do you get a prize for doing that? 253 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:32,810 Not in the Times. 254 00:15:33,090 --> 00:15:34,770 It just exercises the mind. 255 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:38,130 Mind you, I suppose that's all you can exercise now. 256 00:15:40,730 --> 00:15:43,670 Moulton had just brought round this bag of cricketing gear. 257 00:15:44,590 --> 00:15:49,630 Are you free, Captain Peacock? Something with big ears, four eyes, full of wind, 258 00:15:49,630 --> 00:15:50,630 and doesn't work. 259 00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,310 Oh, is that a clue? 260 00:15:53,690 --> 00:15:54,950 No, more a comment. 261 00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:57,210 I call up a batting order. 262 00:15:57,470 --> 00:16:01,550 I shall open the innings with Captain Peacock. We'll wear down the bowlers. 263 00:16:01,810 --> 00:16:04,390 You could do that just by talking to him. 264 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:08,930 Do we understand that you have already appointed yourself captain? 265 00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:12,560 Well, I'm quite prepared to step aside if anyone else thinks they're better 266 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:17,160 qualified. You might like to know that in my last term, I hit a six to win the 267 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:18,079 school match. 268 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:21,700 Well, I once hit two fours. Any advance on eight? 269 00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:26,100 The captain has to buy the winning team a round of drinks. 270 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,420 In that case, Mr. Rumble's the captain. 271 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,420 Then there's Miss Lovelock. 272 00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:37,720 I've left the rest open until we see what sort of people Mole Turd produces. 273 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,040 Now... When it's our turn to field, B. 274 00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:46,180 Slocum will open the bowling. I'm sorry, Mr. Rumble, but I put my shoulder out 275 00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,180 under the tent. 276 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:49,280 Oh, putting the pole in the hole? 277 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,120 Fending off Mr. 278 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,320 Moulton. 279 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,180 Oh, dear, that's a big disappointment. 280 00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:57,400 I fend the old bat. 281 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,140 Thank you, Mr. Moulton. 282 00:17:00,460 --> 00:17:03,460 Mind you, I was quite good behind the wicket. 283 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,760 Not half as good as she was behind the sight screen. 284 00:17:12,079 --> 00:17:15,400 If he was the newspaper, you could sue him for deforming your character. 285 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:21,220 He obviously has very fond memories of you. You're probably the first girl he 286 00:17:21,220 --> 00:17:21,939 ever kissed. 287 00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:23,319 I didn't kiss him! 288 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,140 It's all in his imagination! 289 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:29,380 Well, he's obviously had a little candle burning for you all these years. 290 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,840 Well, I never lit his wick, and that's for sure. 291 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,600 Good morning, everybody. 292 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,740 Good morning, Mr Thorpe. 293 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,720 Remember my secretary, of course, Miss... Prescott. 294 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:42,940 Thank you. 295 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:47,840 We've brought some papers down for you to sign. We thought it best to liquidate 296 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,920 our interest in the Rangoon Gas Mantle Company. 297 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,740 Oh, do we get more lolly if we do? 298 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,960 Well, you get less if you don't. 299 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:59,140 We're renting the Bangkok factory out to a local businessman. 300 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,720 What was his name, Miss... Prescott. 301 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,520 No, no, the businessman. 302 00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:11,540 do make banjos. 303 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:17,040 He intends to use the premises as a matage parlour. 304 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:20,100 Oh, dear, I don't think we could be a party to that. 305 00:18:20,540 --> 00:18:24,680 Well, it'd raise the... Raise the... Return tenfold. 306 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:29,620 Oh, well, as long as it's nicely run, Mr. Rumble. 307 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,640 I doubt the blokes is going to make up the team. 308 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,360 Shall I bring them in? 309 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:36,640 They'll take their boots off first. 310 00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:40,160 No, no, no, no. Take them out to the kitchen and wash them under the outside 311 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,160 tap. 312 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:46,580 Oh, and Miss Littlewood said, can you find a umpire? 313 00:18:46,980 --> 00:18:48,460 Oh, dear, that's a bit of a pose, huh? 314 00:18:48,860 --> 00:18:51,540 Do you have to hurry away, Mr. Thorpe? 315 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:52,800 I don't know. 316 00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:55,200 When's my next appointment, Miss Prescott? 317 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,160 A week on Tuesday in Bangkok. 318 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,720 Oh, yes, of course. 319 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:05,760 All sorts of little fiddly little legal things to be straightened out. 320 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,420 I thought perhaps you might do a spot of umpiring for it. 321 00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:10,660 In Bangkok? 322 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:16,200 No, here, Mr. Thorpe. Oh, yes, yes, delighted. 323 00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:22,140 How's that lemonade coming along, Mr. Humphreys? Oh, I've squeezed 52 already. 324 00:19:26,830 --> 00:19:29,070 Oh, no, I'm going to save them for me elbows. 325 00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,830 This is Alfie. This is Dick. 326 00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:34,170 This is Jesse. 327 00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:38,250 This is Mr. Humphreys. He took over from the chef. 328 00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,510 Oh, hello. 329 00:19:39,550 --> 00:19:41,110 Is Jesse short for anything? 330 00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,710 No, there's always been a Jesse in our family. 331 00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:49,770 Malcolm, are you playing for wee? 332 00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:52,730 No, I've been chosen for tender bottom. 333 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:57,310 Did you get my note under our rock? 334 00:19:57,910 --> 00:19:59,830 I haven't been that way lately. 335 00:20:00,550 --> 00:20:02,430 This is Mr. Humphreys. Oh. 336 00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:04,950 There's talk in the village about you. 337 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:07,050 Really? Anything I should know? 338 00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:11,110 Word is you've been setting your cap at Mavis here. 339 00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:13,610 That's none of your business, Malcolm Heathcliff. 340 00:20:14,890 --> 00:20:20,530 If one night you be walking down a dark lane, don't be surprised if you're not 341 00:20:20,530 --> 00:20:21,530 alone. 342 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,380 I'll be very surprised if I'm there at all. 343 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,200 You'll be about your business, Malcolm Heathcliff. 344 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,900 You're not welcome in this house. There's nothing between you and me and 345 00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:36,900 never will be. 346 00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:39,240 Will you tell him, Mr. Humphreys? 347 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,860 Well, I think you've made that quite plain. 348 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,100 That's as may be. But he's not going to have you. 349 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,780 Do I make myself clear? 350 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:51,120 Lemonade. 351 00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:52,940 No piss. 352 00:21:01,889 --> 00:21:05,610 Mr. Moulter will open the bowling. He says he gets an edge on occasionally. 353 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:07,230 So let's see who's next. Mr. 354 00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:08,850 Huffington, you'd better be in the stretch. 355 00:21:09,130 --> 00:21:10,730 You know, I was about to suggest that. 356 00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,130 Yeah, well, what's a fair name? 357 00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:13,510 You be second, sir. 358 00:21:13,630 --> 00:21:15,850 Peacock Gully, and I'll be Silly Middleton. 359 00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:20,590 Right, off we go. Come along, Mrs. Slocum. I'm sorry to keep you waiting, 360 00:21:20,590 --> 00:21:22,710 was all done up and I had to go to the ladies. 361 00:21:23,890 --> 00:21:24,910 Can I help? 362 00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:26,650 Yes, dear. 363 00:21:26,690 --> 00:21:29,270 You can put up the numbers when I tell you the score. 364 00:21:31,389 --> 00:21:32,790 I've had a look at the rules. 365 00:21:33,030 --> 00:21:36,710 Some of the signals are rather confusing, but I think I'll get the hang 366 00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:39,150 Am I the only umpire? 367 00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:44,030 No, my colleague on the bench will be at the other end. Are you ready, Sir 368 00:21:44,030 --> 00:21:46,210 Robert? Oh, it's you again. 369 00:21:46,690 --> 00:21:48,990 You're that clever dick lawyer from London. 370 00:21:49,550 --> 00:21:50,950 We met in my court. 371 00:21:51,250 --> 00:21:53,850 I was only doing my best on behalf of Mrs. 372 00:21:54,130 --> 00:21:56,750 Slocum. Oh, and a right dog's dinner you made of it. 373 00:21:57,190 --> 00:21:58,190 Let's get out there. 374 00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:03,480 Now, Miss Brown shouldn't be out there without a hat on in this sun. 375 00:22:04,420 --> 00:22:05,740 Look, I've got a spare one. 376 00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:08,400 Run and give it to her. There's a good girl. 377 00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,340 Remember, Mrs. Slocum, if he looks like getting half an inch out of the crease, 378 00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,820 whip his bales off. You can rely on me, Captain Peacock. 379 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,900 Mrs. Slocum. 380 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:30,840 Say. 381 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:32,720 Just a moment. 382 00:22:38,420 --> 00:22:39,420 Sorry. 383 00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:53,760 He's facing out his run. 384 00:22:54,180 --> 00:22:56,220 I should stand back a bit, Mrs. Slocum. 385 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:03,120 He's digging in. 386 00:23:07,300 --> 00:23:08,440 Something is wrong. 387 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,060 Well, don't touch me. 388 00:23:10,340 --> 00:23:11,340 I thought we knew. 389 00:23:15,420 --> 00:23:17,520 What he's doing is very thorough. 390 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,640 He's shining the ball. 391 00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:22,460 Beware it's out. 392 00:23:24,660 --> 00:23:26,200 Wouldn't stand there if I were you. 393 00:23:26,700 --> 00:23:28,760 My slashes can reach the boundary. 394 00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:31,880 That's quite an accomplishment, I'm sure. 395 00:23:33,820 --> 00:23:34,679 Look out. 396 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,680 Here he comes. 397 00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:44,340 How's that? 398 00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:46,279 How's that? 399 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:47,280 Oh, just a minute. 400 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,240 You don't need the book for that, you old duffer. He's out. 401 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,100 I lived a regret this day. 402 00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:04,900 Very upset about it already. 403 00:24:10,380 --> 00:24:11,580 Right, then, how are we doing? 404 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,400 It's a pretty desperate situation. 405 00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:17,280 We'd be in a very strong position if you hadn't put Mr Humphreys under bone. 406 00:24:17,740 --> 00:24:21,940 Do you know, I don't think that bad -tempered umpire likes me. Every time I 407 00:24:21,940 --> 00:24:23,520 near the wicket, he shouted, no balls. 408 00:24:24,460 --> 00:24:25,800 Still, we only made 85. 409 00:24:26,380 --> 00:24:27,860 We just need another 15. 410 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,620 I'm sure Mr. Moulterd can easily make that for us if Mr. Humphreys can keep 411 00:24:31,620 --> 00:24:33,180 end up. I'll do my very best. 412 00:24:37,820 --> 00:24:40,660 You weren't thinking of eating that last sandwich, were you? 413 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:44,100 No, no, of course not. No, I just picked it up for you. 414 00:24:46,100 --> 00:24:47,100 Mustard. 415 00:24:48,060 --> 00:24:50,460 Right, let's get back while the light's good. 416 00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:55,480 Good luck, Mr. Humphreys. 417 00:24:55,850 --> 00:24:57,690 Whatever happens, I'm proud of you. 418 00:24:57,890 --> 00:24:58,890 Thank you. 419 00:24:59,770 --> 00:25:03,370 I'll look after the batting. You get ready to run. 420 00:25:03,570 --> 00:25:04,570 Is that clear? 421 00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:05,870 Perfectly. 422 00:25:06,470 --> 00:25:10,150 If you got a bat, watch out for his dooglies. 423 00:25:10,590 --> 00:25:11,590 You're very alert. 424 00:25:15,170 --> 00:25:17,190 That hat suits you so well. 425 00:25:17,490 --> 00:25:20,090 Would you like to keep it as a memento of the occasion? 426 00:25:20,550 --> 00:25:22,250 I don't think I'll forget it. 427 00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:35,600 Yes. And another. 428 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,060 We'll get another. Oh, I don't think we can. 429 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,860 you, Mrs. Slocum. I beg your pardon, Mr. Rundle. He means the match. 430 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,320 Oh. 431 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:13,960 Excuse me, Captain. 432 00:26:18,660 --> 00:26:19,660 Embrace his lamp. 433 00:26:20,940 --> 00:26:22,380 Make it all up with us now. 434 00:26:22,980 --> 00:26:25,240 I wonder if she should have had her reading glass. 435 00:26:25,780 --> 00:26:28,120 I don't think the tale is going to wag. 436 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,080 Ah, Jessica, you did very well. 437 00:26:32,380 --> 00:26:34,420 I think you're definitely the man of the match. 438 00:26:34,810 --> 00:26:36,950 I was definitely not out leg before wicket. 439 00:26:37,630 --> 00:26:40,330 Well, anyway, it was a very shapely leg. 440 00:26:47,250 --> 00:26:48,750 I've been waiting for this. 441 00:27:06,220 --> 00:27:07,220 A snap decision. 442 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:14,300 I hit it! 443 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,640 Oh, Mrs. Slocum, what are you doing here? 444 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,780 Just putting down the pitch. You're supposed to be at the other end. 445 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:39,859 Did you say? 446 00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:42,860 He said knock out. Do you want to make something out of it? 447 00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:45,620 Any more from you and I'll show you the yellow card. 448 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,360 Everything depends on Mr. Humphreys. I can't bear to watch. 449 00:27:50,940 --> 00:27:52,700 Pull the brim further down. 450 00:28:41,390 --> 00:28:42,269 It's coming round. 451 00:28:42,270 --> 00:28:43,610 You say we can stop now? 452 00:28:43,810 --> 00:28:45,230 You might be able to stop. 453 00:28:45,490 --> 00:28:46,590 I'd better keep running.